When Maryam tells Bitsy that she arrived in the United States with only 'a single carpetbag,' Bitsy burbles that it must have been 'a Persian carpetbag. The central figure in the book is Maryam, Sami's widowed mother, who has the clearest view of things, and particularly of the process of Americanization. Yet the two families maintain a somewhat strained friendship - not because of the children, who don't particularly care for each other, but because they sense that the volatile process of cultural accommodation is part of what it means to be American. Sami is nettled by Bitsy's judgmental attitude, 'her burlap dresses and her more-organic-than-thou airs,' and at one point is so provoked by Bitsy's criticisms that he gets in a shoving match with Brad, who has come to his wife's defense.

And while Ziba makes an effort to follow Bitsy's lead in using cloth diapers, she soon gives up and switches back to disposables. They Americanize their daughter's name, Sooki, into Susan, which is also 'a comfortable sound for Iranians to pronounce.' Ziba decides to return to her job as an interior decorator part-time, which shocks Bitsy: 'How could you leave your baby?' she protests. The Yazdans are more easygoing and practical. The results are predictably messy, but then many of Bitsy's well-laid plans are like that: Jin-Ho will later insist on being called Jo, express a distaste for Korean food and rebel against the uncomfortable Korean clothing. When the time comes for toilet training, she decides on 'positive reinforcement' and throws a Potty Party to which the invited toddlers are expected to wear underpants instead of diapers. Bitsy wears black and white because she has read that babies don't see colors, and insists on cloth diapers. To maintain the child's 'cultural heritage,' she retains the baby's Korean name, Jin-Ho, and dresses her in Korean costumes for special occasions. Bitsy is full of child-raising theories and politically correct attitudes. The two families have very different approaches to parenthood. Two weeks later, Bitsy will track down Sami and Ziba to compare notes on their child-raising experiences, initiating a complex friendship between the Dickinson-Donaldsons and the Yazdans. Standing behind this crowd is an Iranian-American couple, Sami and Ziba, who are accompanied only by his mother, Maryam. Bitsy and Brad are surrounded by a large video-camera-toting entourage that includes both her parents and his. It begins at the Baltimore airport in August 1997, where two couples are awaiting the arrival of the Korean orphans they have adopted.

Anne tyler digging to america